“It’s the Principle of the Thing!”

I cannot even count the times in my life when I’ve said “It’s the principle of the thing!”  Whenever I utter this statement, I’m usually in the middle of some controversy where I continue to try to prove my point.  Most commonly, I’m on the phone with a company that I do business with, whether a utility company, mortgage company, or one of the many different companies through which I’ve made purchases.  I’ve spent my life thinking that it was important to prove to someone else how things should be.

However, my deep dive into how energy works has made me rethink this entire effort.  Tony Robbins has said “where focus goes, energy flows.”  This tells me that if I am focused on conflict, that I will waste energy on that conflict, and, based on the Law of Attraction, will subsequently attract more conflict.  Over the past year, I’ve intentionally refrained from extending any discussions merely for “the principle of the thing.”  I’m happy to report, that things work out much more smoothly for me than in my past.

I saw evidence of this play out last week with someone I know.  This person decided to pay two bills.  On the first one, he was prompted to enter something that was not applicable to what he was trying to do.  He opted to speak to a representative, and attempted to pay the bill with the representative.  That transaction did not go very well, as he was transferred from the first representative, to the next representative (who was supposedly going to be able to handle the payment), but after almost an hour wait in the queue, he learned he had to be transferred to another team.  Just before that hour-long queue wait was up, he used a second phone to call the corporate number to complain about the experience and attempt to find someone to just take his payment.  He then had two calls going at the same time, and lost the corporate call when the second representative finally answered the call.  I heard a lot of frustration, and understandably so.  It is reasonable to expect that one could pay their bill within just a few minutes and without a lot of call transfers and escalations.  However, that extended focus on the conflict may cause more harm to ourselves than to anyone to whom we might be trying to prove a point.

When that first bill was finally paid, he attempted to pay the second bill.  The exact same thing happened with the other bill, which was a completely different company (one was a credit company, the second was a utility company).  That attempt to pay the bill also ended in an escalation to “corporate” and although I do not know the exact issues that occurred on that call, I do know that it was not a smooth transaction and was very similar to the first experience, although not as long of a transaction.

While I noticed this use of energy to focus on conflict, I chose not to comment on it.  However, the very next day, I just had the opposite experience with something that could have understandably been more difficult to resolve.  For me, it was a very quick and easy transaction.  This drew my attention back to the conflict I had witnessed the previous day, recognizing the value of focusing on the solution and not the conflict.  My transaction was about a package that had been reported as delivered a week prior, although I had never received it.  I had no interest in complaining about the missing package, I was simply focused on getting a new one shipped, and that was all that happened on that call.  The call was 6 minutes long, and that included me going through the prompt to hear about my order, and that it had been delivered, then requesting the system transfer me to a representative, which came with about a 15 second hold, then that representative took my order information, looked it up, saw the status of delivered, marked it as a lost package, put in another order for me, upgraded it to 2-day shipping (at no charge).  All of that was a 6 minute call.  It was a great reminder that it is better to focus on what you want, and not what you don’t want.  Focus on conflict and what is wrong will only bring more conflict.  I’ve found everything is easier when I avoid engaging in conflict simply for the sake of “the principle of the thing.”

Things to consider:

  1. How often do  you find yourself in conflict over “the principle of the thing?”
  2. How do you feel during and after those interactions?
  3. What might you do differently to ease your interactions in the future?

Desire: The Starting Point of All Achievement

The other day, I wrote of the impact that being at the beach has on me.  It is the best way to get me to a higher energetic level where I feel peaceful, as well as inspired to live my best life.  At the beach, I am able to let go of the problems and just be.  I have long dreamed of having a beach house, for this exact reason.  If you had asked me if I had a strong desire for a beach house, I would have given you an honest, emphatic “YES!” because I truly thought I did!

About three years ago, I began learning about the Universal Laws from one of my mentors, and then from other teachers on the Law of Attraction.  The power of the mind is unfathomable!  Once I got a taste of the power of the mind, I wanted to learn everything I could about it.  I dove into the teachings on the topic, and joined my mentor’s study of the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.  After reading the second chapter, called Desire, I realized that dreaming of owning a beach house “one day” was not going to be enough.   I had to really want it, and I had to believe I deserved it and be very precise in describing and picturing exactly what I wanted in the beach house.

That beach house became part of a long-term goal, and part of my 2020 vision.  I wrote out the details of the beach house, including the features of the home as well as the ways I would use the home (both personally and professionally).  For some reason, though, even thought that beach house had plenty of clear details, it never felt like “my” beach house.  Even after years of dreaming and wishing for a beach house, then incorporating it into my 5-year vision two years ago, it still felt so distant to me.  I knew I wanted one, but I also knew that I didn’t have that “burning desire” that Napoleon Hill talks about.  In fact, I realized that I didn’t have a “burning desire” in the way that Hill described about anything, even though I am a very driven person and I had plenty of clear-cut goals of where I wanted to be in all of my life areas, and had been very successful in some of these areas.

Napoleon Hill said “Desire is the starting point of all achievement… not a hope, not a wish, but a keen, pulsating desire that transcends everything else.”  All those years my beach house was just a hope and a wish that one day I would go after.  It was never truly a desire, at least not in the way that Hill described.  Hill said that the “burning desire” should be an obsession in order to confidently bring it into reality.  I didn’t have that level of desire about anything, and definitely not about the beach house.

BUT NOW…. I have learned what that “burning desire that is an obsession” feels like.   NOW… I get it. 

A close friend of mine recently bought a boat, and while I was standing on the dock waiting to get on the boat for the first time, I suddenly had that burning desire for a boat.  Previously, I had heard all the chatter about how boats aren’t worth the effort and they are way more expensive than just the cost of the boat.  I thought it might be nice to have a friend with a boat, but I had often told people just how confident I was that I never wanted to own a boat. However, that single moment of watching my friend’s boat get put into the water completely changed my desire for owning a boat, although I didn’t realize just how much at the time.  I decided that I was going to get a boat.  I immediately started looking at the different boats that I found myself around.  The first several weeks I started looking at different boats for sale simply to get an understanding of options.  It didn’t take me long to know the type of boat I wanted and some of the design features.  I wanted that boat so bad that I told myself I absolutely would have one in time for the next boating season (about 6 months ahead).

I remembered having heard my mentor Paul tell someone who wanted to buy a home, but didn’t have the money, to just start the process of buying a home.  This included finding the home you wanted and talking to the bank about financing.  I decided to do this.  So, I went down to the local MarineMax to speak with a salesman.  I thought I wanted a particular size (Sea Ray 280 Sundancer, which is 28′), so I went on the boat, and loved it.  I took a photo to put on my 2018 vision board, and went back home.  I spent the rest of the day looking at boat photos and boat sale listings.  All I could think about was the boat.  The following weekend, I took that brand new Sundancer for a sea trial.  It was the first time I had even driven a boat.  I was thrilled to be on the water, but thought that with 4 people on the boat for the trial, that it felt a little to small.  I decided I wanted a different layout, that would expand the space on the cruiser.  We walked by a larger Sea Ray 340 Sundancer (34′) after the sea trial, and it looked really nice, but I thought it was too big, and I’d never be able to afford it.  I went to the financing office, and learned that I would qualify for a brand new boat if I wanted one – at least the cost of the 280 Sundancer.   I took all the information, and was super excited about the prospect of buying the boat.  The following weekend, I went back to MarineMax and got on the 340 Sundancer.  I IMMEDIATELY knew that the 340 Sundancer was definitely the boat for me.

I cannot stop thinking about (and talking about) that boat.  I have placed a photo of that boat (pictured in this post) on my desk at work.  THAT’S how obsessed I am with this boat.  And NOW I understand what Napoleon Hill was talking about… that burning desire that is an obsession.  Oh… and that beach house I wanted?  I’m not even sure I still want it, as this boat will allow me the freedom to experience the beach and the water… all the real reasons I wanted a beach house in the first place.  The boat is actually BETTER for me than that beach house.  Now… I’m putting Napoleon Hill to the test… I’ve got the desire… and I’m following all of his steps as outlined in Think and Grow Rich.  So… in the Spring of 2018 you should see me post a photo of myself with my Sundancer!   I absolutely cannot wait for that day!

Things to consider:

  1. What have you had a strong “burning desire” to be, do or have?
  2. When was the last time you followed your burning desire until you achieved it?
  3. When you are pursuing your burning desire, how do you stay focused in spite of all of life’s distractions?

Beach Days Are The Best!

I come to the sea to breathe…

I have always loved this quote, as the beach is my favorite place to be to relax, refresh and renew. Just listening to the waves crash into the shore, whether during a bright sunny day or in the middle of the night, inspires me to live my best life.  I’m currently visiting my brother in Florida, and we’ve spent the past couple of days in, on and around the water, which is my favorite place to be!  Today, I was able to spend a few hours on Delray Beach.  At first, I just took in the sights and sounds of the beach.  I took some photos of my brother and his kite.  I walked the beach.  All the typical beach day activities… and then… as always… inspiration hit.  Ideas for an event I’m hosting started popping into my head.  Then, I was inspired to re-write my 6 month vision, which now includes things it wouldn’t have included even if I wrote that vision yesterday.   My future is lining up just wonderfully, and being near the beach on a permanent basis is definitely in my future!  I’ve set a 10 year timeline simply based on my current plans for my time at my current organization.  As the creative juices were flowing today at the beach, I decided that I may need to shorten that timeline just a little bit.  I’m always feeling on top of the world when I’m at the beach.

This is my happy place.  I feel most alive when I’m at the beach.


Things to consider:

  1. Where do you go to breathe?
  2. How are you most inspired?
  3. What is your vision for your future?